1999: Mum came to get me at midnight as I was crying and took me into her bed. It wasn’t the best of nights but we got through it. The end result was – we overslept. I was a bit reluctant to let mum go today even with Edons temptation of toddler club this morning – but go she did, with excuses that she was going to be late for that work thing again. What the hell is that anyway? It must be something that’s more fun than me, she goes there so often that I guess it must be. After tea tonight mum finished off my hair and it now looks neat.
2019: Well I attempted to leave for work at 7am only to find my car stuck in the mud which I could swear was grass when I parked it on the garden last night. This is my new way of getting mum up – she was trying to help but nothing would shift it. I’d dropped the work van off elsewhere yesterday so couldn’t get into work,. When I rang they advised they were having a reshuffle and I could take the week of. Great today but not Friday week when I don’t get any pay
9: I got mum a cracker this morning – I fell over in my bedroom, mum asked if I was okay and I said ‘yes’, but she noticed my nose was running and went off to get some tissue. I followed mummy into the bathroom and held out my hand and she thought I’d hurt it. Mummy kissed it better not realising until that point that I was actually holding out my hand to show her that I’d been very grown up and wiped my own nose with it! I found her facial contortions highly amusing and now keep giving her ‘presents’ but she hasn’t fallen for it again. We went to Donals tonight as promised but it was a bit of a let-down as they had run out of boxes and decent toys. So much for a happy meal – it didn’t make me very happy and I hardly touched any of my chicken nuggets (loodaloo) or chips. Well it’s not the same without the box is it?! On the way home we called in to see Dev who found me an excellent motorbike alarm clock. I loved it so much he said I could keep it. I was chuffed but mum didn’t seem so pleased. I think it’s really cool – it revs up and makes real bike sounds and it’s really loud. I played with it all night and on the way home I fell asleep with it on. Every time mummy stopped the car and turned it off, I woke up and turned it back on again. Mum, its soothing okay?
2019: Morning at the beauty parlour waiting for Zof to get her eyelash extensions done and then off to Cirque in London. A very messy night but a great post birthday celebration. I have since had 3 real motorbikes – one when I was 5 and one when I was 6. These faired far better than my first on road bike that I paid £1100 for and blew it up within a month. Got my car for now but one day ………
1999: Once again I lay in bed listening to that old snooze button being bashed over the head. Mum eventually turned it off at seven and I think she was actually planning to ring work and claim that her alarm hadn’t gone off (well it wouldn’t be surprising really; she’s so mean to it). To ensure mummy didn’t oversleep, I got up and requested my milk, when she tumbled out of bed and duly got this for me. Whilst mummy was getting ready for work, I wrecked the upstairs. Never mind, mummy can tidy it all up again tonight. I especially had fun with the cotton wool pads, which are now in pieces.
When mummy picked me up tonight, she knew straight away that I hadn’t slept (is there nothing you can keep from your mum?). She said I looked awful (charming) and I was also very tearful and cried most of the way home. (Oh right. So like she wouldn’t get upset if someone greeted her with “you look awful”; I may be a kid but I have feelings too you know). We went to Karen’s tonight and I fell asleep on the way at 5.30. I apparently carried on sleeping on her settee, through a bum change and change of clothes, a car journey home and a transfer to bed. I don’t think mummy will be needing the alarm clock tomorrow morning, I just hope she doesn’t think I’ve got a snooze button. The one saving grace is at least I’m a moving target!
2019: Saturday lie in but not a long one. Day off and want to go out. Took mum and Zof to Cromer via the coast road (mum had to take her hearing aids out for some reason – Its NOT LOUD!) and had BBQ, Mozzarella and Aoili chips from The Bucket List. Had hot chocolate overlooking the sea from the Red Lion Hotel and then headed home as it was bloomin freezing. Bourne Sesh this afternoon and cooked duck in plum sauce for tea (Marco Polo)
1999: Gale force winds this morning and mummy thought the tiles were going to blow off the roof. They didn’t, but later we noticed that both the fences in the back garden were down. Mum decided to have a lovely relaxing bath this morning, but I had other ideas. What all that lovely water and bubbles just for one? No way, I’m getting in too. Uncle Eddy was on the TV. last night and mum had taped it for me. I was glued to the telly mimicking him, laughing, clapping and reaching out for a hug and at the end shouting “again, again…Pease”. Our car (which we only got a month ago) has had to have a new engine in it and this morning the man from the garage dropped it round to us. Mummy and I then had to drive him back to the garage. On the way I told mummy that I wanted “ish” and wriggled my fingers. One fish fingers happy meal coming up, complete with Eeyor. I decided to eat out of mum’s filet box, as it was easier. I saved 6 chips and ketchup, I closed the box and took it with me, but as we were leaving the box came open and all fell on the floor. We called in to see Dandell and Dessica for a while and mummy invited them to my party on Thursday. On the way home we went to ASDA to get my party bits including a very expensive Tellytubby cake. Personally I think she’s mad, I wouldn’t have paid that much for it, but if mummy wants to who am I to spoil her fun! When we got home mummy unloaded the car and then came back for me, only to discover that I was minus an L.A light trainer. She says she wouldn’t mind but they were a lot of money and the only reason she bought them was because I was desperate for foot attire and they were the only ones that fitted. She jumped back in the car to return to ASDA for the hunt, but the car wouldn’t start. I sat very, very, quietly. Mummy rang the garage, and the man came out to look at the car only to discover that the choke had been left on and it was flooded! Mummy was so embarrassed, especially as she had had the bonnet up and checked the battery and spark plugs before she called them. It’s the simple things in life mum…
Nanny and Pa came round later with a huge torch. They had been to look in the trolleys and car park at ASDA, in a bid to save my trainer to no avail. Mummy then went out with Pa and I cried and I cried and I cried, until mummy got back. Nanny had tried to console me but all I did was wee all over her. Anyway there was a happy ending; Mum found my trainer in one of the trolleys and Nanny went home to put dry trousers on.
2019: No lost shoes today but I clearly spoke to soon yesterday about not destroying things. Fender bender today in the van taking someone’s front wing with me. Well, he pulled up on my blindside when I was sat waiting to turn right at a junction.