April 5th – Mischievous Days

1999: Up at 7.00, no prizes for guessing where mum was.  Whilst she was asleep I pooed my nappy and decided to take it off, because that’s what she usually does.  Mum awoke to find marks all over my bed, my carpet and her bed.  Oops!  I had to have a bath and get clean and mum had loads of washing to do. We went to Asda and bought two packed lunches and set off for Danbury lakes.  We walked around and then put a rug on the grass to eat, but we both ended up with wet bums, as the grass was so wet that it soaked through the rug.  We fed the ducks but they weren’t interested so the fish ate the bread instead.  We played ball, I threw it backward over my head, and it rolled down the slope and now the ducks are playing with it!  We went for another walk and I climbed some trees.  Mum got a bit cross though because I kept throwing stones, and she got even crosser when one hit a young boy on the head. Oh dear.  Mum was very apologetic and luckily his mummy was very understanding and forgiving.  Not so with my mum though – we had to go home. 

2019: Bit of a crappy day (literally). Back and shoulder hurting from work. Popped round to mums and ran straight in to the loo. Crohn’s has really flared – suggestions from mum to drink plenty of alcohol, avoid fried and spiced food and alcohol. Good luck with that one – we’ve got a house warming party tomorrow night. Picked up my car from mums after taping the wing mirror back on (I knocked it off after three days of having it – not happy – cant afford to get I fixed so just keep strapping it up)

#sleep #potty training #mess #mischief #toddlers #growing up #crohns #IBD #party #cars #alcohol #food

 

 

 

March 18th Boys Will Be Boys

1999:

18th – Couldn’t wait for this morning so I got in to mum’s bed at 11.00 last night instead. I was back in my own before midnight though.  I was only hot and restless.  Aren’t mothers supposed to put up with that sort of thing?  Well that’s caring for you. Jack’s revenge – back to mum’s for 5 and stayed restless until 6.45 – and….time to get up!  Things weren’t too bad though, I watched Tubs and had mum singing along to sing a song of sixpence and then doing a swaying dance – and it was before midday! Mum ended up being 10 minutes late for work; I wonder whether they thought it was a sad or sweet excuse?  Uncle Teddy and Nan came round tonight with mum’s new bed and I gave a big helping hand with all the carrying lark.  They didn’t seem so keen though, especially on the stairs.  Do they honestly think I’d trust them to do it all on their own?  Teddy and I went out to his Jeep and were messing around when mum came out to take a photo.  We posed.  She snapped.  Lovely.  Well it would have been but she’d still forgotten to put the film in! She eventually found some film and took some great posey shots, and just before we came in Teddy stood me on the roof of his Jeep, which I thought was great, but mum definitely didn’t.  Women!  Will they ever understand us? It’s a boy’s thing okay?  Once they’d gone I played in the garden, but got really fed up with mum because she wouldn’t let me stand on the roof of my own toy car!!! But it’s mine (and it’s plastic). It’s not that far down!  They do panic.  I decided to prove I was a big boy in other ways and buttered my own bread tonight, but every time mum looked the other way I ate the butter straight from the knife. I don’t think she saw me though. Either that or she’s as fed up with the word ‘No’ as I am.

2019: Have got a weeks work in Norwich labouring. Took Zof into work early so we could just take one car as low on fuel and no money. Apparently mum nearly text me to see if I was in for tea tonight and then remembered ….. It does all feel a bit like a holiday at the moment!

#toddlers #growingup #work #driving #beds #jeeps #boysstuff #money #photos #ditzy #humour #holidays

March 6th – Modelling with Blond Highlights

1999:  –  Mum it’s Saturday – a busy day none the less! We went to Chelmsford to get my 3rd ‘watch me grow’ photo taken,. Mum put my leather waistcoat on for this occasion and I proudly told everyone I was ‘mart’.  I pulled my usual stern face during the sitting with the odd smile here and there.  I actually thought it far more fun to very slowly dribble out the corner of my mouth, putting more force on it just as the man took the photo!  Mum didn’t seem too impressed though.  We walked through the high street to the swimming pool only to find it does not open until midday.  Doesn’t anybody realise today is Saturday?  People want to swim.  We walked back to the car and on the way mum bought me a packet of milk buttons to munch on in the buggy and we popped into Zanzibar to buy some tapers and incense sticks. We then made a quick exit when mum noticed a lady walking around with a chocolate button wrapper stuck to her trousers! We eventually left town and got stuck at the traffic lights.  Hold up mum, the lights are green, the right hand lanes moving but we’re at a standstill in the left.  Mum.  MUM. Those cars are parked!  How embarrassing.  Everyone behind was very patient. Well she has died her hair blonde……….

2019: My mums blonde moments are endless. There really wasn’t any hope for me. Having said that I’m definitely the more sensible one and actually have some common sense. But then again mum did remember to leave me a list of jobs to do today! Shopping and cooking were the highlights.

#blond #hair #ditzy #growing up #photography

March 1st – Cutting Teeth

1999: Spent the day at Edon’s until five when mum took me to Nan’s for tea.  I was really pleased as mum said we were going but I didn’t quite believe her until we rounded the corner of her road and then I got really excited shouting ‘Nan, Nan, Nan’.  Uncle Eddy and Pa were there too!  After 20 minutes mum disappeared.  Charming – more quality time!  She returned an hour later in a new shiny red car – I was very excited and had a little go in the driver’s seat. We went home in the NEW car, which is actually 3 years old, but it’s all ours!  I had a bath, complete with hair wash (I have managed to avoid it for a week now) and I wasn’t too impressed with Mother pouring all that water over my head.  Afterwards I found the lion cake and decided to demolish it.  Mum discovered another tooth coming = 10 at the bottom and eight on top.

2019:  Home alone today and tonight as Mum and Mark have gone to the theatre and Zof is out with friends. Low, low, low day – mum always knows – she text me to check I was in a good place before buggering off out as she put it. I’m ok. Well ok to be left on my own. She rang and faced timed me a couple of times too. I sometimes feel as if I’m cutting teeth all over again in this adult world, but wonder if it was actually any less painful back then …..

#teething #family #grandparents #toddlers #adults #work #depression #demotivation

 

February 11th Work Work Work

1999:  Mum came to get me at midnight as I was crying and took me into her bed. It wasn’t the best of nights but we got through it.  The end result was – we overslept.  I was a bit reluctant to let mum go today even with Edons temptation of toddler club this morning – but go she did, with excuses that she was going to be late for that work thing again.  What the hell is that anyway?  It must be something that’s more fun than me, she goes there so often that I guess it must be.  After tea tonight mum finished off my hair and it now looks neat.

2019: Well I attempted to leave for work at 7am only to find my car stuck in the mud which I could swear was grass when I parked it on the garden last night. This is my new way of getting mum up – she was trying to help but nothing would shift it. I’d dropped the work van off elsewhere yesterday so couldn’t get into work,. When I rang they advised they were having a reshuffle and I could take the week of. Great today but not Friday week when I don’t get any pay

 

January 26th

9:  I got mum a cracker this morning – I fell over in my bedroom, mum asked if I was okay and I said ‘yes’, but she noticed my nose was running and went off to get some tissue.  I followed mummy into the bathroom and held out my hand and she thought I’d hurt it.  Mummy kissed it better not realising until that point that I was actually holding out my hand to show her that I’d been very grown up and wiped my own nose with it!  I found her facial contortions highly amusing and now keep giving her ‘presents’ but she hasn’t fallen for it again.  We went to Donals tonight as promised but it was a bit of a let-down as they had run out of boxes and decent toys.  So much for a happy meal – it didn’t make me very happy and I hardly touched any of my chicken nuggets (loodaloo) or chips.  Well it’s not the same without the box is it?!  On the way home we called in to see Dev who found me an excellent motorbike alarm clock.  I loved it so much he said I could keep it.  I was chuffed but mum didn’t seem so pleased.  I think it’s really cool – it revs up and makes real bike sounds and it’s really loud.  I played with it all night and on the way home I fell asleep with it on.  Every time mummy stopped the car and turned it off, I woke up and turned it back on again.  Mum, its soothing okay?

2019: Morning at the beauty parlour waiting for Zof to get her eyelash extensions done and then off to Cirque in London. A very messy night but a great post birthday celebration. I have since had 3 real motorbikes – one when I was 5 and one when I was 6. These faired far better than my first on road bike that I paid £1100 for and blew it up within a month. Got my car for now but one day ………

January 19th

1999:   Once again I lay in bed listening to that old snooze button being bashed over the head.  Mum eventually turned it off at seven and I think she was actually planning to ring work and claim that her alarm hadn’t gone off (well it wouldn’t be surprising really; she’s so mean to it).  To ensure mummy didn’t oversleep, I got up and requested my milk, when she tumbled out of bed and duly got this for me.  Whilst mummy was getting ready for work, I wrecked the upstairs.  Never mind, mummy can tidy it all up again tonight.  I especially had fun with the cotton wool pads, which are now in pieces.

When mummy picked me up tonight, she knew straight away that I hadn’t slept (is there nothing you can keep from your mum?).  She said I looked awful (charming) and I was also very tearful and cried most of the way home. (Oh right.  So like she wouldn’t get upset if someone greeted her with “you look awful”; I may be a kid but I have feelings too you know).  We went to Karen’s tonight and I fell asleep on the way at 5.30.  I apparently carried on sleeping on her settee, through a bum change and change of clothes, a car journey home and a transfer to bed.  I don’t think mummy will be needing the alarm clock tomorrow morning, I just hope she doesn’t think I’ve got a snooze button.  The one saving grace is at least I’m a moving target!

2019: Saturday lie in but not a long one. Day off and want to go out. Took mum and Zof to Cromer via the coast road (mum had to take her hearing aids out for some reason – Its NOT LOUD!) and had BBQ, Mozzarella and Aoili chips from The Bucket List. Had hot chocolate overlooking the sea from the Red Lion Hotel and then headed home as it was bloomin freezing. Bourne Sesh this afternoon and cooked duck in plum sauce for tea (Marco Polo)