1999: Gale force winds this morning and mummy thought the tiles were going to blow off the roof. They didn’t, but later we noticed that both the fences in the back garden were down. Mum decided to have a lovely relaxing bath this morning, but I had other ideas. What all that lovely water and bubbles just for one? No way, I’m getting in too. Uncle Eddy was on the TV. last night and mum had taped it for me. I was glued to the telly mimicking him, laughing, clapping and reaching out for a hug and at the end shouting “again, again…Pease”. Our car (which we only got a month ago) has had to have a new engine in it and this morning the man from the garage dropped it round to us. Mummy and I then had to drive him back to the garage. On the way I told mummy that I wanted “ish” and wriggled my fingers. One fish fingers happy meal coming up, complete with Eeyor. I decided to eat out of mum’s filet box, as it was easier. I saved 6 chips and ketchup, I closed the box and took it with me, but as we were leaving the box came open and all fell on the floor. We called in to see Dandell and Dessica for a while and mummy invited them to my party on Thursday. On the way home we went to ASDA to get my party bits including a very expensive Tellytubby cake. Personally I think she’s mad, I wouldn’t have paid that much for it, but if mummy wants to who am I to spoil her fun! When we got home mummy unloaded the car and then came back for me, only to discover that I was minus an L.A light trainer. She says she wouldn’t mind but they were a lot of money and the only reason she bought them was because I was desperate for foot attire and they were the only ones that fitted. She jumped back in the car to return to ASDA for the hunt, but the car wouldn’t start. I sat very, very, quietly. Mummy rang the garage, and the man came out to look at the car only to discover that the choke had been left on and it was flooded! Mummy was so embarrassed, especially as she had had the bonnet up and checked the battery and spark plugs before she called them. It’s the simple things in life mum…
Nanny and Pa came round later with a huge torch. They had been to look in the trolleys and car park at ASDA, in a bid to save my trainer to no avail. Mummy then went out with Pa and I cried and I cried and I cried, until mummy got back. Nanny had tried to console me but all I did was wee all over her. Anyway there was a happy ending; Mum found my trainer in one of the trolleys and Nanny went home to put dry trousers on.
2019: No lost shoes today but I clearly spoke to soon yesterday about not destroying things. Fender bender today in the van taking someone’s front wing with me. Well, he pulled up on my blindside when I was sat waiting to turn right at a junction.
1999: After breakfast I wanted to take the lift, I called it, we got in and I pressed G for ground. I kept on pressing G and all that happened was the doors kept opening and closing and eventually mum said we’d best get out as it obviously wasn’t working. As we walked out, mummy suddenly realized that we had already walked up the stairs from the basement and were on the ground floor. So much for the responsible, guiding adult. When we eventually got back to the room we wrapped up really warm, complete with fleece, waterproofs, wellies and hats, picked up our buckets and spades and off we set for the beach. After a fair walk we eventually arrived at the beach only to discover there wasn’t one as the tide was right in and the water looked very stormy. I settled for jumping in puddles, walking along the walls and running across the green instead. We decided to go back to the hotel as mum said I could go in Billy Bears Den, but we got there to discover we had half an hour to wait before it opened. Mummy seemed more disappointed than me, I thought it was great as Pat kept me amused. No mummy don’t shoot him. We went to dinner via the cellar bar and Postman Pat. Mummy says that next year, instead of a holiday, she’s going to hire me a Pat ride for a week; if only! I had so many rides mum needed a wee before dinner and has now discovered the true meaning of using a public loo. As she was sat weeing, I unlocked the door and threw it wide open. Not contented with this I ran out of the toilets leaving mummy frantically trying to stop weeing, pull knickers up and catch me before I ran out the doors of the hotel.
2019: Its surprising I turned out as fine tuned considering my ditzy mum as a role model. No longer have any of my childhood videos (or a player) although I did hang on to the Wiggles one for a while as mum really didn’t like that one. Toot Toot, Chugger Chugger Big Red Car. Perhaps I should swap my silver Golf ………. More into horror movies now (although mum thinks there is a similarity here) and making Zof jump whenever I can. Have had a relaxed weekend together but rang mum today to check what time she is home tomorrow so I can tidy up!
1999: Woke mum in her bed with my cold feet but soon got them warm again on mum’s legs. We snuggled back down for a while until I managed to get her up by uttering the magic words. What I didn’t tell her is I’d already started, so when she quickly took off my nappy it all fell on her foot. Luckily she saw the funny side of it. Phew! Had mum running up and down the stairs today (well you have to try it out with them all don’t you) and on one occasion I actually sat on the loo for 5 minutes, but no action, so mum gave up. I wanted to stay upstairs and play and Mum went down, two minutes later – oh no – “Mum, Mum, Poo”. Eventually, on the third shout she came upstairs; too late I’m afraid it was all over the landing. Well that will teach her to listen to me in the first place. Went over the town today. I wanted to get out and jump in the puddles, but unfortunately mum just doesn’t have any sense of adventure and she seemed to think that just pushing the buggy through the puddles would suffice. I couldn’t be bothered to argue, so I just pretended it was fun. On the way back we went to the burger van and ordered two bacon rolls, and I happily munched mine on the way home and I ate two whole bites.
2019: What can I say? I’d eat both bacon rolls right now and mum still does not listen to me – although I am usually right and its now me saying “see. I told you so”. Check out her ditzy blog to get a better understanding of what I have to put up with!