1999: What’s going on?! Mummy was up and dressed before me this morning. Is she getting organized or am I just getting lazy? At least she’s starting to get a bit of autonomy at last. Oh well, it will soon be the weekend! I had my milk and then a big cuddle, it wasn’t until she put me back down that she realised that I was wet and so were her work clothes. Oops! Well, I would have told her if only she’d asked. I don’t know why mum bothers with this work thing – she always looks so stressed by the time she goes. We had pasta for tea tonight with bacon and tomato pasta sauce and mummy said we could be naughty and sit on the settee to eat. I decided to put mine on my toy cooker and eat it. Then I put it on the arm of the settee. And then on the settee. And then on the floor. Mummy didn’t seem to think this was such a good idea. I don’t know, I think the orange patches add interest to the furnishings. Later on I brought mummy a plastic plate from my cooker – she picked up pieces, put them in her mouth and said ‘Mm, tasty’. I don’t know, she must be hallucinating or something – it was just an empty plate really, but I played along and did the same. The things you have to do to keep these adults amused.
2019: I love to cook pasta. Maybe to show mum how it should be done – al dente, not burnt but still like to leave my mark and mess around the house. Cooked tonight as mum has gone to visit her friend Joy in Lincolnshire. We lived there from when I was 4 – 13 in a really old bungalow with an acre of land – hence the motorbikes that I used to love to ride. We renovated the property and I remember having to jump form rug to mat over concrete floors. But my best memories, apart from the bikes, is collecting fresh eggs from the chucks, digging up fresh potatoes for dinner and our goats Molly and Golly which we never even attempted to milk!
1999: Once again I lay in bed listening to that old snooze button being bashed over the head. Mum eventually turned it off at seven and I think she was actually planning to ring work and claim that her alarm hadn’t gone off (well it wouldn’t be surprising really; she’s so mean to it). To ensure mummy didn’t oversleep, I got up and requested my milk, when she tumbled out of bed and duly got this for me. Whilst mummy was getting ready for work, I wrecked the upstairs. Never mind, mummy can tidy it all up again tonight. I especially had fun with the cotton wool pads, which are now in pieces.
When mummy picked me up tonight, she knew straight away that I hadn’t slept (is there nothing you can keep from your mum?). She said I looked awful (charming) and I was also very tearful and cried most of the way home. (Oh right. So like she wouldn’t get upset if someone greeted her with “you look awful”; I may be a kid but I have feelings too you know). We went to Karen’s tonight and I fell asleep on the way at 5.30. I apparently carried on sleeping on her settee, through a bum change and change of clothes, a car journey home and a transfer to bed. I don’t think mummy will be needing the alarm clock tomorrow morning, I just hope she doesn’t think I’ve got a snooze button. The one saving grace is at least I’m a moving target!
2019: Saturday lie in but not a long one. Day off and want to go out. Took mum and Zof to Cromer via the coast road (mum had to take her hearing aids out for some reason – Its NOT LOUD!) and had BBQ, Mozzarella and Aoili chips from The Bucket List. Had hot chocolate overlooking the sea from the Red Lion Hotel and then headed home as it was bloomin freezing. Bourne Sesh this afternoon and cooked duck in plum sauce for tea (Marco Polo)
1999: Back to the old routine today of listening to mummy repeatedly hitting the snooze button. I was in a good mood again this morning and even chose my own clothes. That is until I realised mummy had fed the fish. I wanted to do it. I stormed off and got my little footstall to “look” and eventually the fish got a second helping when mum wasn’t looking. Afterwards I was fine again but we had to go, go, go. I was even cool when we arrived at Edon’s and went in to play with the others; I gave mummy a kiss goodbye and carried on playing. Mummy looked quite relieved and I think she went to work with a clear conscience. There was a bag of Jelly Babies waiting for me in my car seat. Yum. Yum. I like first days back to work.
2109: Last day of work for the week and Zof is home with us again tonight. Getting excited looking for properties to rent but need a few months to save. Cooked spiced beef and pasta tonight and we all sat in the lounge watching Ready Player One
1999: We arrived for breakfast to discover the high chair ready and waiting. I ate bacon, a sausage (which looked remarkably like poo, I picked it up and said so very, very loudly, at which point Mummy crawled under the table, I don’t know why, she can be so embarrassing at times) and a slice of toast and marmalade. Trudged around in the freezing cold sleet for 30 minutes to find a GP surgery as I keep falling over and am now back on antibiotics for ear infection. We went swimming and I did really well holding mummy’s hand up and down the swan slide and so eventually she let me have a go on my own. I fell backwards; mummy caught my leg just in time. She had a banged leg and I have a banged back. In the dining room tonight I wanted the “ man” (waiter) to pour my juice into my cup. He obliged saying “hold it tight” as I held on to my cup. All was going well until half way through when I dropped the whole lot over my trousers. We had to go back to the room to change and I had hysterics thinking I was going to bed, but we went out again – dancing. I have won the hearts of all, nearly everyone here knows my name and I had several dances with several ladies tonight. I wave to them all when I leave one room and say hello when I go in to another.
2019: Well after a hectic week Zof took me out to dinner last night at Bella – our first date restaurant – love Italian and my table manners have improved, although I remain fairly clumsy so drink spillages are not that uncommon. I don’t swim much now but did train as a life guard when I was 17 and spent a year at Camber Sands and a year at Scratby lifeguarding until going on to other things. One of those things being club host and entertainer – still love to dance and be the centre of attention some nights, although other days and nights will see me hiding away from the world with anxiety and depression and I struggle to even place an order at MacDonalds. Things are much better since I met Zof though and we are now thinking of getting our own place. Crohns not great at the moment but I continue of the immune’s and mum is certain a lot of this is due to all the antibiotics I had as a child knocking out my healthy gut bacteria so keeps trying to feed me them too (lucky she’s away at the moment!)