1999: Pa’s birthday today and Bompers too. Mummy was already dressed before I got up this morning as I had a lie in until 7.45. Why don’t I do this at weekends when mum could lie in? Well there just wouldn’t be any fun in that, now would there? I do have some heart though; I found mums silk roses on her windowsill, picked them up and presented them to her. She said they were lovely and that they smelt beautiful too. They’re pretend mother, not real. Honestly! Oh well best not disappoint her, I’ll play along with her, let me smell ‘Mm. Lovely’. What a Wally! A little later I called mummy into my bedroom and she came in to find me looking very pleased with myself. I had stuck the remaining stickers for my potty training chart all over the wardrobe and they were stuck hard and fast. She told me I was very clever but perhaps next time they should go on the chart. Tip of the month – if you want to avoid getting in trouble with your mum always look proud and pleased with what you have done and they won’t have the heart to tell you off. After Edons tonight, mummy and I went to the card shop to get birthday cards for Pa and Bomper, but I found it far more fun to wreck the joint whilst she was distracted rather than to look for cards. We arrived at Nanny and Pa’s and I gave Pa his present and then took it straight back off him and unwrapped it. Mm, very nice, a new T-shirt, it looks a bit on the big side for me though mum. What do you mean it’s for Pa; everyone knows presents are for kids. Aren’t they? Oh well, the cake then? Pa’s great, he let me sit on his lap and blow out the candles ‘again’ and ‘again’.
2019: Great Grandad Bomper died when I was 6 at the age of 86. He is still with me wherever I go and often flickers lights on and off around me! Zof and I were hanging in London this morning and called in to see Uncle Terry, Aunty Dee and cousin Beau at Epping Ice rink and had a little skate eventually getting home at 7 pm.
Whilst we were away, with me permission, mum had changed my room round (due to a condensation and mould problem which is attacking the wallpaper and needing to get the bed off of said wall) and sorted all my draws etc out. Sprung – I have a full packet of immunosuppressants and a prescription in my draw! Thing is I am very reluctant to take them due to nearly dying of sepsis Christmas before last due to a fungi entering my blood through my sinuses as I was so immune supressed
9: I got mum a cracker this morning – I fell over in my bedroom, mum asked if I was okay and I said ‘yes’, but she noticed my nose was running and went off to get some tissue. I followed mummy into the bathroom and held out my hand and she thought I’d hurt it. Mummy kissed it better not realising until that point that I was actually holding out my hand to show her that I’d been very grown up and wiped my own nose with it! I found her facial contortions highly amusing and now keep giving her ‘presents’ but she hasn’t fallen for it again. We went to Donals tonight as promised but it was a bit of a let-down as they had run out of boxes and decent toys. So much for a happy meal – it didn’t make me very happy and I hardly touched any of my chicken nuggets (loodaloo) or chips. Well it’s not the same without the box is it?! On the way home we called in to see Dev who found me an excellent motorbike alarm clock. I loved it so much he said I could keep it. I was chuffed but mum didn’t seem so pleased. I think it’s really cool – it revs up and makes real bike sounds and it’s really loud. I played with it all night and on the way home I fell asleep with it on. Every time mummy stopped the car and turned it off, I woke up and turned it back on again. Mum, its soothing okay?
2019: Morning at the beauty parlour waiting for Zof to get her eyelash extensions done and then off to Cirque in London. A very messy night but a great post birthday celebration. I have since had 3 real motorbikes – one when I was 5 and one when I was 6. These faired far better than my first on road bike that I paid £1100 for and blew it up within a month. Got my car for now but one day ………
1999: We rang on Edons doorbell for 5 minutes this morning, eventually mummy had to ring her from her mobile to let us in (she’d been in the shower washing her hair!) I didn’t sleep today and when mum picked me up this evening I was feeling a bit hyper. Once home we had a cuddle and then mum fixed my new ‘crazy train’ together which kept me quiet for a while, but mum felt it a shame that the train wasn’t so quiet. Mum says that it’s at birthdays and Christmas time that mums really find out who their friends are. I think they’re all great – I get wicked presents! Dinner was a concoction of yesterday’s left overs, which mum seemed to enjoy, but I gave up after one mouthful and opted for a bowl of Jelly instead. Honestly in this house you eat like a king one day and a pauper the next. We watched a bit of telly tonight and I wanted everything in the adverts from going on a tram to eating ‘Donals’. Mum has said we will go to Donals tomorrow night for tea (YES!!! – a break from mums cooking)
2019: Feels like I’m on that crazy train at the moment. Horrible day at work and to cap it all someone nicked my stepdads drill out the back of the van as I was loading to go. He was cool about (even though he didn’t actually know Id borrowed it)- just kept saying he needed to drill holes! On he bright side Zof is home tonight, fish pie for tea which was again not burnt and London tomorrow!