January 26th

9:  I got mum a cracker this morning – I fell over in my bedroom, mum asked if I was okay and I said ‘yes’, but she noticed my nose was running and went off to get some tissue.  I followed mummy into the bathroom and held out my hand and she thought I’d hurt it.  Mummy kissed it better not realising until that point that I was actually holding out my hand to show her that I’d been very grown up and wiped my own nose with it!  I found her facial contortions highly amusing and now keep giving her ‘presents’ but she hasn’t fallen for it again.  We went to Donals tonight as promised but it was a bit of a let-down as they had run out of boxes and decent toys.  So much for a happy meal – it didn’t make me very happy and I hardly touched any of my chicken nuggets (loodaloo) or chips.  Well it’s not the same without the box is it?!  On the way home we called in to see Dev who found me an excellent motorbike alarm clock.  I loved it so much he said I could keep it.  I was chuffed but mum didn’t seem so pleased.  I think it’s really cool – it revs up and makes real bike sounds and it’s really loud.  I played with it all night and on the way home I fell asleep with it on.  Every time mummy stopped the car and turned it off, I woke up and turned it back on again.  Mum, its soothing okay?

2019: Morning at the beauty parlour waiting for Zof to get her eyelash extensions done and then off to Cirque in London. A very messy night but a great post birthday celebration. I have since had 3 real motorbikes – one when I was 5 and one when I was 6. These faired far better than my first on road bike that I paid £1100 for and blew it up within a month. Got my car for now but one day ………

January 24th

1999:  First events of the day were at 1.00 this morning.  Mummy apparently heard shuffling through the baby monitor and came in to find me with one leg over the side of the bed and the other leg over the side of Agal’s cot – where’s mummy’s bedroom gone then?  I was on my way to snuggle down.  Eventually Agal’s cot was moved out and mummy slept on the floor mattress besides my newly found bed.  And so started the long night of bed swapping – I kept waking up and getting into bed with mum, but each time I awoke I found her in the other bed, I was up and down all night.  Mum and I went to Asda as Nanny and Pa are coming to dinner today.  It was so embarrassing, mummy had to ring Nanny and say ‘I’m at the lamb counter, what do I want and how much?’  I’m sure she’s fibbing about her O’level cookery, she can just about cook fish fingers and chips and they’re frozen ones.  And as for custard and gravy ……………they’re okay so long as you’re careful not to choke on the lumps.  I had an afternoon nap and when mummy bought me back downstairs my party table was laid up again – how exciting.  A few minutes later Nanny and Pa arrived for my family birthday dinner, but we had to wait another hour as mum hadn’t quite got the timing right.  We eventually had dinner, after mum had roped Nanny into making the white sauce and Pa into carving the lamb!  We sat down to eat, complete with party hats, and had a lovely dinner, but had to wait for half an hour afterwards for the pudding, which was in the oven (a frozen apple pie!)  I had Jelly whilst I was waiting, half of which ended up on the floor, Pa got up to clean the mess and put his foot straight in it!  I’m glad I’m not the only mucky pup around here.

2019:  Mum actually managed to cook sausage and bacon pesto pasta. Nothing was burnt or dropped and the smoke alarm didn’t go off. It was much appreciated after a hard days graft. Mums due to start her new job Monday week so we will probably all be back to free for all and rushed dinners.

January 20th

1999:  Well, I did get up before the alarm clock, we had milk and tea in bed and then mum set to getting ready for the day.  When she brushed her hair ready to dry it I copied and groomed my bear and dog (stuffed not real), then when she did her blusher I got another brush and made up Po, my bears, myself and also added an extra touch to mummy’s.  It was great fun but I think it must have made mummy a bit hot and bothered because when we left the house she looked rather red.  This afternoon mummy and I went to ASDA to get the last minute bits for my party tomorrow.  The only thing we haven’t had to buy is the Jelly as mummy has some in the cupboard at home.  When we got home mummy put the tea on and I washed my hands, as we got ready to make the fruit and jelly.  I sat on the side patiently waiting whilst mum got the fruit and the jelly from the cupboard.  Jelly? Where’s the Jelly?  Mummy had the whole cupboard out.  Ooh help!  I decided to have a look but I couldn’t find it either, but I did find the mallow biscuits, so consequently by the time tea was ready I didn’t want mine.  Mummy rang Nanny who saved the day.  Nanny and Pa arrived after my bath and found mummy mopping up wee from the kitchen floor – she was not amused, as I had called her to tell her what I had done and then laughed.  Nanny also bought me Telly Tubbies table cloth, cups, plates, napkins and goody bags.  I sat chatting to Pa with lollipop in hand, mum asked where I’d got it from, Pa grassed saying I’d got it out of my toy kitchen, Mum says I’m getting more and more like a dog every day – not only do I wee all over the place but I hide my treats for later too.  At least I’ve got a better memory than her, she’s now realised that she’s left her scissors and cellotape at Nanny’s and has to do all my presents up with glue!  You know, my mum, dressed up smart every morning, is very self-assured and obviously has quite an important job, so why oh why is she finding it so hard to get to grips with a two year olds tea party?  I’ve never seen her so stressed.  I’m really excited about my party and, despite going to bed at 8.15; I didn’t go to sleep for a whole hour.  I had to lie in bed listening to the sound of 24 balloons being blown up.  Just as well the old girl has quit smoking else they wouldn’t be done by morning

2019: Out for pre-birthday lunch with my pals today and a visit from Geri, Harriet and squirt with an early birthday present. No balloons currently but I’m sure they’ll be around when I get in from work tomorrow. As mum was quite skint when I was a kid she used to fill the settee with balloons and hide my cards and presents in amongst them. I keep telling her I’m all grown up now but apparently its now a tradition!