1999: When I got up I was full of beans and I got mum to join in my antics too (even though we were running late). I found the headphones for mum’s walkman and sang into the connector piece (as usual) and today I did it on my very own stage – mum’s flat packed wardrobes which are on the floor waiting to be put up. I wish she’d hurry up and do it, my room’s still full of all her clothes (and I thought I had a lot!) Told mummy that I’d had a good day at Edons but I refused to put my shoes and socks on tonight so mum had to carry me to the new, shiny red car. I love it! Mum’s bought a smelly for it, but I didn’t care for that much, it smelt far better than it tasted. When we got home I found ice-lollies in the freezer which mum made me eat in the kitchen (I can’t think why). The phone went tonight before, during and after tea – Dev, Eesa, Nan, Karen and Tracey! Mum and I cuddled on the settee but she put me to bed at 7.45 as she thought I was tired and miserable. I thought I’d been trying to communicate! I was asleep within 10 minutes – perhaps she was right, but I won’t tell she knows best.
2019: Communication’s not my best thing currently. Low mood and arguments. Got an email to advise I did not get short listed for mental health support worker role I applied for – but at least they bothered to email me. My grumpiness when tired and hungry has continued into adult life but not working definitely makes everything 10 times worse. Self esteem is taking nose dive as is my Crohn’s
#depression #self-esteem #crohns #autoimmune #work #humour #growing up
1999: Once again I lay in bed listening to that old snooze button being bashed over the head. Mum eventually turned it off at seven and I think she was actually planning to ring work and claim that her alarm hadn’t gone off (well it wouldn’t be surprising really; she’s so mean to it). To ensure mummy didn’t oversleep, I got up and requested my milk, when she tumbled out of bed and duly got this for me. Whilst mummy was getting ready for work, I wrecked the upstairs. Never mind, mummy can tidy it all up again tonight. I especially had fun with the cotton wool pads, which are now in pieces.
When mummy picked me up tonight, she knew straight away that I hadn’t slept (is there nothing you can keep from your mum?). She said I looked awful (charming) and I was also very tearful and cried most of the way home. (Oh right. So like she wouldn’t get upset if someone greeted her with “you look awful”; I may be a kid but I have feelings too you know). We went to Karen’s tonight and I fell asleep on the way at 5.30. I apparently carried on sleeping on her settee, through a bum change and change of clothes, a car journey home and a transfer to bed. I don’t think mummy will be needing the alarm clock tomorrow morning, I just hope she doesn’t think I’ve got a snooze button. The one saving grace is at least I’m a moving target!
2019: Saturday lie in but not a long one. Day off and want to go out. Took mum and Zof to Cromer via the coast road (mum had to take her hearing aids out for some reason – Its NOT LOUD!) and had BBQ, Mozzarella and Aoili chips from The Bucket List. Had hot chocolate overlooking the sea from the Red Lion Hotel and then headed home as it was bloomin freezing. Bourne Sesh this afternoon and cooked duck in plum sauce for tea (Marco Polo)
1999: We didn’t do an awful lot this morning, as I’m going to see daddy today. We just had lots of cuddles, watched telly and played. Mummy made me bacon sandwiches but I didn’t want them, I’d found the chocolate biscuits instead. These were followed by two cups (bottles) of tea, one of which was just before Granddad arrived to take me to see daddy and when mummy looked I’d dribbled it all down my new aaron jumper, which had been knitted for me for Christmas. Quick change and we were ready just in time. Granddad delivered me back home at 5.00, fast asleep, and with reports of me being as “good as gold”. I have brought back two cards with me, but mum won’t let me open them yet. But I want it to be my Birthday now. I kept on calling mum “dad”; things can get so confusing at times. Despite going to bed at eight, I couldn’t sleep and when I heard mum coming up to bed an hour later, I went to be with her, which I thought was great fun. This was allowed as she’s going back to work tomorrow and we both feel sad after such a lovely week.
2019: Day of working, then hair cut and mandala tattoo on the side of my head. Zof came to meet me and hold my hand to reassure herself more than me. It didn’t actually hurt that much but the holding hand part was good. And as for Dad – well I haven’t seen or had positive acknowledgement from him for about 5 years.
1999: Another very restless night but at least mum only swapped beds with me twice. Why we have to swap anyway I don’t know, surely it would be much better if she just stayed put every time I wriggled over. Home today but we had to wait for nanny to collect us, so we waited with Pat and when Nanny arrived I shared him with her.
I had a close shave this afternoon. I was playing in my bedroom, when mummy says she heard a series of loud bangs. She came running into the bedroom to find the wardrobe door on the floor and me next to it. How it missed me she does not know (only I do and I’m not telling), but she’s very glad it did! Nanny and Pa popped round tonight and Pa brought me a book. Mummy read four stories to me and has decided that I obviously have a thing about this number as that is the number of wee’s I’ve done this afternoon, in various locations around the house. I’m just re-establishing my territory mum.
2019: Got paid today, bought myself some tools and a radio to sing along to as I work and felt proper grown up. I seem to make a better job of building things now than I do destroying them!
1999: I had a very restless night and apparently so did mum – now that’s what I call a coincidence. I slept in every angle possible on both beds (we swapped 4 times apparently) and at 6.30 started muttering about Pat again. Of course most of this is mummy’s version of events as I was mostly asleep throughout and I really think she’s taking this Pat thing a bit too far now. Mum made me cry at breakfast this morning. I was quite happily sitting in my high chair, flapping a whole rasher of bacon from my mouth, when Mummy told me to take it out. Well I didn’t see what was wrong with this so I carried on doing it and do you know what she did? She broke my bacon! After breakfast we went for a swim for a whole hour – Mummy eventually bribed me out of the pool with Pat (I thought you didn’t like him, this is so confusing).
Tonight I did my usual in the dining room making everyone on my table wear their napkins in their collar, just like me and then I gradually pull mine out so that they’re all sat there looking very funny and I’m the grown up one with mine abandoned! After dinner we went to the cabaret room for our usual dance. All week I have wanted to stand on the stage and sing into the microphone to the music, and tonight mummy let me do it. It was great fun and everyone was looking at me. The trouble started when a man then came on and started playing the organ and singing, and I wanted to go on the stage “again”. Mummy said I couldn’t as I’d already played and it was now the man’s turn and suggested we danced instead. As we danced on the floor I realized that everyone was paying attention to the man on the organ and not me and I wanted to join in with him, so I smacked mummy in the face and next thing I knew I was being marched off to bed. Well no one’s going to see me there are they you stupid woman!!
2019: No dancing or playing today just lots of hard work in stuffy lofts. Still like my tunes though and sing along in my van loud and clear. Tried to stay awake to welcome Mum and Mark home but was soundo in my bed by the time they got back